Friday, 17 September 2010

"Shh It's a Secret" - Summer's Blogfest



This is my contribution to  Summer's  It's a Secret.
To see entries by others go here

Mine is part of an opening sequence from a romantic suspense novel, one involving obsessional desire!

This follows on from interaction between Danny (head groom) and Sue (wife of Andy) - secrets & lies possibly just exposed by her brother-in-law - her and Danny now running through woodland.


Oh God, what had she done?


If it hadn’t been for Andy’s angry manner of throwing his cell-phone to the seat of his car, Danny wouldn’t have paid much attention to his boss’ departure from the stable yard; shotgun tucked under arm.

As it happened, Danny had broached his availability and no impending duties of any relevance if a shoot was in the offing, only to be met with strictly no company needed response: “ Stay put, I need no help for what I have to do”.

There was so much that she needed to say, to explain, and if nothing else, Andy was due the truth behind any notion of duplicity between herself and Mark. That is, if his brother was guilty of having revealed her worst fears. If not, why had Andy left in such a hurry, in such a black mood, and why hadn’t he said where he was going?

If anything happened to Andy . . .

She couldn’t go there, dare not think that far.

Damn Mark . . . Damn him to hell and back.

The suddenness of a 12-bore fired at some 400 metres distant echoed across the wooded valley.

Shocked to abrupt standstill, she glanced back at Danny. He too stopped in his tracks as a squawking cock pheasant dashed across their path and took to the wing. Rooks meantime rose above the green canopy in winged tumult.

A deathly hush soon befell the woodland: creatures as though holding breath, afraid to break cover.

‘Wait here,' insisted Danny, his hand grasping her sleeve to prevent onward movement.’

‘I have to, have to go on,’ she said, resisting his hold upon her. ‘There’s always hope, there has to be.’

Danny held her fast, stepped in front barring her way. ‘It’s best you wait here.’

‘If you say so,’ she said, shoulders sagging. Meantime her brain raced, her heart pounding in readiness to take flight.

‘I’ll be five minutes, no more,’ he said, his expression one of compassion.

‘Shh . . . listen,’ she pleaded, intent on putting him off his guard.

The instant he relinquished his hold she sidestepped and legged it.

He yelled, ‘Don’t, don’t do it, don’t go there,’ his outburst to no avail.

Brambles tore at flesh, skin zinging from nettle stings as she sped onward. All the while she was aware of what lay ahead: for once seen she would never be able to eradicate from memory. She knew that, and could hear Danny following in her wake, the ominous quiet of the woodland strafed only by the snapping of twigs beneath their feet.

Andy always so strong, the backbone of the family, the head of Hanham Racing, and her champion in all things, how had she let it come to this?

He’d known his brother had twice attempted murder most foul in a way that would have been categorized an unfortunate accident at high-speed, yet Andy had brushed off each attempt as though nothing to worry about. Then, then, one stupid mistake for her part and now the love of her life brought to his knees.

What else could have driven him out here, other than Mark’s vindictiveness and desire to acquire Andy’s all: Blakely Court; Hanham Racing; and her. Why her, when he could have any one of the many beauties who vied for his attentions?

Mark was so damned arrogant and impossible to reason with, and in his sick mind still believing he could win her over with a little persuasion.

She had such wonderful news for Andy too . . .

Why, why had she kept it a secret?

400 metres suddenly seemed more like 400 miles and she felt as though treading ground as opposed to moving forward.

Her every breath slid into slow motion, her former happy life with Andy unreeling before her very eyes at warp speed.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this . . .


I so wanted to put a picture with this to give sense of atmosphere, Andy's line of business that of Formula 1 racing, but I stuck to Summer's strict instruction of no images! :(


12 comments:

Clarissa Draper said...

Even without the photo. I got a clear picture in my mind. I think her emotions of not wanting to see and needing to see came across well. Great clip.

CD

Summer Ross said...

The emotions in here are very good. You have wonderful imagery to go along with it. I think you did beautifully without the picture. Just your writing gave it all the atmosphere it needed. Great post!

Damyanti said...

Great Entry....ooohh I missed the part about the instructions of no pics, min's got a pic...sorry Summer :(

I think the piece is very vivid, and the premise quite exciting.

Wendy Tyler Ryan said...

Nice writing Francine. I agree, you gave us the image with your words, which is how you're supposed to do. Great job. (I think I know her secret!)

Dawn Embers said...

Well done! The language is different but it works well in this scene. Great use of the secret prompt.

Jacee Drake said...

Great entry! Very easy to read. I think you did very well on the atmosphere without an image.

Wild Rose said...

Wonderful entry Francine and you did paint the picture of her emotions so well, thanks for stopping by and following as i have liked your blog and followed you back. :)

Wild Rose~

L'Aussie said...

Ooh, bad Summer. I like images! But as Clarissa said, even without, you painted a picture, one with particularly English motifs. A little bit of knowledge of guns etc there I see. Great atmosphere Francine..:) Of course, I missed this blogfest..:(

Sharde(Shar-day) said...

Sorry I'm late. And what's this business of no images? I must have skimmed over that part(clearly, as I've used an image with my post).

This is great. I can feel the urgency of the situation. Nice visuals too. I can see her running, scarring her body along the way.

Fav paragraph: "Brambles tore at flesh, skin zinging from nettle stings as she sped onward. All the while she was aware of what lay ahead: for once seen she would never be able to eradicate from memory. She knew that, and could hear Danny following in her wake, the ominous quiet of the woodland strafed only by the snapping of twigs beneath their feet."

Excellent!

Sharde

Francine said...

Hi girls,

Thanks so much for dropping by to comment! I love these blogfests. They're such a great way of reading others' written works.

Yes L'Aussie - knowledge of weaponry here. If I say Purdey, Browning, and pump-action etc., I know what I'm talking about and that does come in handy for my writing!

best
F

Donna Hole said...

It didn't need the picture. The imagery was vivid without it. So much violence; it was unexpected, but a pleasure to read.

I have an award for you over at my blog.

......dhole

J.C. Martin said...

Very suspenseful entry! Is Andy OK? And what is the secret good news? Well done!