OK RFWers, I'm in this week with a snippet from "Love Walked In" a semi-autobiographical Romantic suspense penned in fictional context, which will be going live on Amazon in a week's time: or before if the fates smile upon me...
‘After daddy’s death,’ said Fiona, noticeably tentative, as though doubting her chance of an answer, ‘you never really cried, not once . . . Did you miss him, or was it all over between you beforehand?’
Cassie reached out, affectionately stroked her daughter’s face. ‘Oh yes, I missed him, very much. And no, it wasn’t all over between us. Don’t ask me why, but I think I would have forgiven your father for virtually anything.’ She would have, she knew that, with exception of a certain indiscretion that had hurt Mac, and hurt her too, when the truth came to light. ‘He had an irresistible appeal, your father, and almost impossible to say no to.’
‘I know things were a bit dodgy on occasion, but I’d hate to think . . .’
Cassie hugged her daughter. ‘Your father never hurt me not while he was with us, not intentionally, but by hurting another it hurt me indirectly. It was something that happened a long time ago and of no consequence now, and life goes on.’
‘And now,’ queried Fiona. ‘What of Mac? Do you think he will come back?’
‘Oh he’ll come back, one day.’ Cassie looked out of the window toward the paddocks where horses were standing in the shade of the chestnut tree: idly swishing tails and nodding their heads in the midday heat. ‘He rings me every night, when possible, though didn’t last night.’
‘But he’s been gone seven months.’
‘What’s that compared to the rest of our lives?’
‘True, but why absent so long?’
‘It’s going to be a long-distance relationship for quite a while I think, and we’ll only get to see him when on vacation and the occasional snatched long weekend. I must admit, though, when he missed our scheduled call time last night I did try his number. Strangely, the answer-machine was switched off, so there will be no message awaiting his return. I tried his cell phone too and that was switched off, and there was no e-mail this morning. Goodness knows where he’s flown off to at short notice? I’m sure he’ll ring as soon as possible.’ She ruffled her daughter’s hair. ‘Skip this awful mess, and come riding with me, and I’ll help you tidy your room later.’
‘Oh must I?’ whinged Fiona, crumpling a blue silk dress in anguished gesture of hands to heart. ‘I’m expecting a phone call from a certain young Austrian, and . . .’
Cassie kissed her daughter’s brow. ‘I’d forgotten you’re not terribly minded toward equines at the moment.’ As Fiona returned to sorting clothes, Cassie smiled, contentment and a skip in her step as she made for the door. ‘See you later, after you’ve spent ages and ages drooling over a hot phone line.’
Fiona scooped up a pillow and flung it at her departing mother. ‘Who is it says I love you, love you, because . . . Because what, might I ask?’
Cassie caught the pillow and tossed it back whilst bestowing a big smile: the because was personal, but Mac knew what it meant, and that's all that mattered. To see other contributions to this challenge/blogfest go here.
30 comments:
I loved this from beginning to end, Francine. Believable dialogue between mother and daughter. I love the horsey bits too!
Congratulations on getting yet another story up on Amazon, well, nearly. This one should be as winning as your previous tomes.
Denise
Gripping story....lovely.
Loads of intrigue written into the dialogue. Mom and daughter sound close. I like how you dropped in the title phrase with the upcoming phone conversation. Well done F.
.....dhole
Dear Francine,
Thank you for your kind words about my cat-post.
You chose a wonderful snippet here! You really know how to hook the reader into a story. Believeable dialogue between mother and daughter. And I agree with Donna about how seamlessly you worked the prompt phrase into the text.
Glad you had time to join us, Francine. I learn so much from your writing. This text is written in the present time. Fun for a change. Otherwise, you are often a 'literary time-machine'! With just a few clues and small linguistic alterations, you transport us back in time!
Good luck with the book-launch!
Best wishes,
Anna
For the benefit of other readers:
Anna's RFWers Challenge No.33 'I love you because...'
I like the relationship between the mother and daughter - nicely done :)
Hi Francine
Oh, I think disaster has struck the hero, or else he may be a villain. I loved the exchange between mom and daughter. You have a style all your own that I really enjoy reading. Well written and worth my time. I hope all you wonderful stories are doing well.
Nancy
Hello.
I hope it's not all doom & gloom for the MIA daddy. Loved the scene setting & conversation. Nice entry for the theme.
Good luck too with your new book & everything else you have going on!
Thanks for sharing.
This was such a real relationship between the mother and daughter - and a great, unusual way of telling the story
Lx
Lovely relationship between mother and daughter. There is certainly a lot untold between the lines, Francine.
Really well done, it's got me curious about the whole story:) All the best with your book launch.
Well, the other parties are discussed, but the reader knows how each woman feels about her missing lover. And I wonder what became of Mac.
Hi Francine,
This looks intriguing. I want to find out why everything's switched and they can't get hold of him. Lovely snippet and congrats on another upcoming book release.
Cheers,
Kiru
Ah, very nice dialogue, dear lady! And I love the book cover too. This scene reminds me of many an exchange with my own mother when I was a lot younger... hmmm. And - yes, I'm curious about Mac now! Tx
Hello again Francine,
Taking another look at your snippet.
I am wondering where this man Mac is. Yes, I know, I'll have to read the whole novel. Can't wait!
Best wishes,
Anna
Hi D,
Thanks for dropping in! It is a bit different this one... As in a tad personal! I guess someone will criticise the plot etc., re a review, but sometimes (as in this case) reality is closer to fiction than some of us would wish for.
best
F
Hi Janaki,
Thanks for dropping by to comment! ;)
best
F
Hi D,
There is so much more to this than it seems! ;) And thanks for kind comment.
best
F
Hi Anna,
Thank you so much for your lovely comments! ;)
best
F
Hi Jemy,
Thanks you for dropping in!
best
F
Hi Nancy,
Ha ha, if only you knew! Mac's dangerous all right, in many ways... ;)
best
F
Hi Andy,
Ooh, lots of scary stuff crops up, a fair bit of doom and gloom but a happy ending! ;)
best
F
Hi Laura,
Ah but a little surprise, as in unusual, is good for the reading and writing spirit. You should know, you indulge often enough! ;)
best
F
Hi Adura,
Very astute of you. Yep, lot's between the lines, like clues to what next! ;)
Hi Joy,
Yes, a missing lover kind of tugs at the old heartstrings and leaves room for reader speculation. As it stands it isn't the first lover Cassie has lost: the first one tragic indeed!
best
F
Hi Kiru,
I'm smiling, because this snippet is such a clue to what next. But of course, out of context a reader is left in utter limbo: where is Mac, and what does Cassie's "because" mean?! ;)
best
F
Hi Talei,
Thanks for stopping by.
Yes Mac, where are you? ;)
best
F
Hi Anna,
I'm rather glad you're wondering about Mac! Yes, where in hell is he? ;)
best
F
A your piece has a very wistful tone. I like that idea.
Hi Madeleine,
Wistful indeed, and big shock surprise about to set pulses racing! ;)
best
F
With this lovely writing, you make it look so easy,which is a fabulous quality and one I wish to emulate, Francine. The dialogue, the hints, the things which remain unsaid....so tantalizing. I'm getting a bad feeling about Mac right now but happy to know there's a happy ending!
Hi Margo,
Thank you so much for your kind words! ;)
best
F
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