199 words, and snippet from a historical romance circ 1800s: adapted to accommodate the required words for the challenge.
Perfected Imago.
Putrid miasma of strange fungi lingered in the woodland and drove her to the tower in haste. Trespassing as usual she climbed the stone steps to the very top, where the air was fresher and the view spectacular.
A strange dream the night before had come to life with every step taken, though akin to lacuna for she could not define every aspect of the dream. And, as in the dream, a butterfly emerged from a crevice and alighted on her shoulder. Perhaps the warmth from the sun or the pale lemon colour of her gown caused it to spread its wings and oscitate. Inattentive to the glorious view and enchanted by her brightly coloured companion, a barely noticeable whisper of air brushed her face in passing. But a glimmer of bright reflective light caught her eye as it crept eerily across the inner parapet of the tower.
“Yours I believe.” The deep timbre in voice caused her heart to stall.
She turned to see Lord Devonish sporting a tiny hand mirror, the one she had lost from her drawstring purse weeks beforehand.
“Serendipity, Miss Davenport, or sychronicity of like minds seeking sanctuary within this Godforsaken folly?”
34 comments:
Like your intro. and I too could not find oscitate in my British dictionaries! I think historical fiction lends itself, and your piece in particular, to this set of words. The words blend very well into the passage and do not jar, as they have in some, for me. Great work.
Fantastic language. Those tricky words we had to use flow with the piece nicely. Well done!
1. God daaamn this blog is sizzling.
2. THe start of ergency was quickly gripping, but It got a little curiouser when you said "trespassing as USUAL" which sort of threw me off, though maybe it would be clearer if i read onward pass 200w
But I am curious as to Lord Devonish's take on the sanctuary being a "godforsaken folly"
The rabbit hole is spiraling dooown...
Bi.
Francine - This is just fantastic! Your writing is beautiful. Best of luck in the challenge; you've got a winner here! ~ Nadja
I checked oscitate online and found it, but no matter where I type it I get a red underline.
You used the words really well in this. The story has a great flow and I think I'm not the only one who'd like to just just how synchronized their minds are ;)
Your writing flows so well I was immediately trapped in your story! Loved it.
What a lovely flow. You make it seem so effortless. Good job!
You have a way with making me feel right there--time warp via literature! Great job with difficult words.
Hi Joanna and Jamie,
Thanks for stopping by to comment. I'm slowly making my rounds from last to first in the list. ;)
Hi MTG,
A lot has happened before this snip and a lot more to come, so yes, it's easy to get thrown when faced with little info. ;)
Hi Nadja,
I only ever enter these challenges for fun: nothing more nothing less. ;)
Hi KTH,
Yeah, me too with red line! Certainly a trick word. :o
Hi Cortney, Christine and Julie,
Ha ha, flattery re flow: (((blushes))). Thanks for dropping by to comment.
best to all
F
Beautiful piece. Great work getting those tricky words in there!
I really, REALLY want to hear more about these two. Your story placed the characters on the verge of some serious chemistry. Great job!
Great job disguising the challenge words with other less-common words! There's definite chemistry here!
Mine is #3.
Beautiful. My favorite line "a barely noticeable whisper of air brushed her face in passing."
Really liked the language in this! You used the words beautifully.
Very nicely done and I love the picture too. Mine is #29
Your writing is lovely, Francine. You did an amazing job. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Hi Raelyn, F.E., Jen,
Thanks for stopping by. Looking forward to reading more of the listed this evening.
Hi Angelina,
Pretty sentence, and I am chuffed with it...
Hi Story, Bridge & Medeia,
I did love writing this piece, and it's an ongoing project at the mo.
I'm going to try and get round to everyone by Tuesday: at least the pre-Tuesday posts! ;)
best
F
This is great. I think the words work well in a historical piece.
Very nicely done, also love the image you chose to bring it all together. ; )
Nice. I feel like this could be the opening of a historical novel. Nicely done!
It feels like I'm being surrounded by many possible outcomes, and i don't know which will attack
Thx for the visit Francine. I appreciate you taking the time.
Now, as for me, visiting the mother, I shall now go to that very old and classic place that has sculpted the person you see before you.
brass-knuckles in hand of course.
Coffee & Cookies & Amen and pass the soy sauce.
Beautiful. Gorgeous, even! You nailed those words and totally immersed me into another world in just a few sentences. I'd read on.
Great job, Francine! :)
You got it all. I really like that last line.
Lee
Tossing It Out
Hi Rebecca, Sheri and Fairview,
Thanks for stopping by to comment, and for enthusiastic support. ;)
Hi M.T.G, you're fast off the mark on replies, and thanks for stopping by a second time. ;)
Hi David P.K. and Arlee,
I really do appreciate every comment, so thanks ever so for dropping by. I not only found the challenge tough I'm finding it hard to get around to everyone before the darn challenge is over. :o
best
F
Hey Francine finally got a round toit and so glad I did. A cracker of a story and as another commenter said, these weird convoluted words lend themselves to historical fiction. 'Devonish' and 'Davenport', my brain would be twisted if I read the whole book, hee hee.
Denise
I'll tottle over and 'like' this one.
very nice - beautiful descriptions - so tantalizing though when before and what happens next?
um I found the oxford shorter just said yawn -considering how gabby it usually is I went searching on the web gussing that might be where the words came from to find the same so ignored the red line and went for it!!!
Putrid miasma of strange fungi lingered in the woodland and drove her to the tower in haste.
Love that line!
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Hi D, and many thanks for all your support! ;)
Hi Alberta,
Yeah, it kind of threw me that little osci word. I went for the drowsy aspect. ;)
Hi Damyanti,
He hee, first line was the only way I could get miasma to blend in without being too obvious! ;)
best all,
F
I love the fungi line. Fabulous. I really enjoyed your linese here. Now I want to read more.
Oh geez, these words. I'm impressed with people like you who can make something decent of 'em.
Ooh, maybe it is serendipity! And hey look, I'm not the only one reworking an existing MS...
Hi Mary, Theresa and Deniz,
Thanks for stopping by, and I do appreciate every comment. ;)
Yep Deniz, sometimes reworking an existing MS turns up a gem of a story one might have almost forgotten!
best
F
Loved your language in this piece and find your writing smooth. The piece flowed really well. Wonderful job!
#189
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