Thursday, 18 August 2011

Romantic Friday Writers Challenge/Blogfest!

395 words: MCA.

Beth bit her lip. She’d worked so hard for this, and had fought against the male fraternity and carried the weight of their scorn on her shoulder at ever turn, at every jump. All the hoops had burned ever brighter as the weeks, months and a year passed in solid training. But, she could do this. He could do it, too. She watched him closely, every muscle powering on the pressure, edging him forward with every pace. They were on the home run, and it was a now or never situation. He had to pull ahead, had to stretch himself. 
       Excitement and expectancy rose in tumultuous roar all around, and for the first time she felt this was it. This was to be her day, his day, too. Yet, an all too familiar arm around her waist felt dangerous, and almost sinful in its intimacy.
      “We’re in a public place,” she said, her words stolen by uproarious chant of “Yes. Yes. You can do it, you can do it.”
       “So. I own you as I own him, in a roundabout fashion.”
       His hot breath likened to flame of desire seared her flesh, and joy of imminent win added to the sexual heat rising within. Yet her heart was supposed to be out there, on the track, not here with this sun-tanned Adonis. Damn his blue-grey eyes always searching for that one answer; raised eyebrow and suave manner of patient man in waiting. He was spoiling the moment and complicating her life in ways she had never envisaged.
       “I can’t do this.”
       “Sure you can,” he said, tightening his grip. “Enjoy it. Enjoy the thrill of the moment. You’ve got a winner, and I’m thrilled for you, thrilled for him, and believe it, I love him almost as much as I love you.”
       Sheer cacophony of cheering throngs raised the intensity of it all. She could hardly bear to watch, but he did it, he snatched the lead and hit the winning line a length stride in front. “We did it, we did it.”
       She spun round, those blue-grey eyes alight with white heat, her feet off the ground in a thrice, his lips on hers. The answer was going to be yes, she could no longer hold out against him. He’d won. Patience had won. New Horizons had just won the greatest steeplechase ever.
This little flash-fiction piece is dedicated to Jenny Pitman, the first female horse trainer to take a horse to victory in the Grand National Steeplechase. The horse was Corbierre, a grey. When she retired from the racing world as a trainer Jenny began penning horse orientated novels with romantic elements.  

©       To see entries by other participants go to RFW.


Paula Martin said...

Great piece of flash-fiction. Excellent ending! I had to read it twice once I got to the end the first time.

li said...

Well, I'm exceptionally partial to this piece because I adore horse racing. (In fact, I'd be batting the guy away no matter HOW good looking, if my horse was racing). Great way to work in the prompt - as the name of the horse!

Christine Rains said...

That was a well written piece. Bravo!

Debra St. John said...

Ooooh, tricky! I thought she was watching a man...which I'm sure is what you intended.

Nice job!

J.L. Campbell said...

For a moment, I thought they were on a horse, then I realized they were watching. You've put a lot of intensity in here, including some heavy sexual tension.

L'Aussie said...

Well I may be a bit slow but right to the end I didn't guess it was a horse. I thought it might be an athletic carnival or something. Well done! Now I want to read some Jenny Pitman novels. I've not seen her name before.


Francine Howarth said...

Hi Ladies, thanks so much for your comments (enthusiasm). I really enjoyed writing this piece. It was a last minute thing, because I couldn't, simply couldn't think of anything to write. I thought I might ave to step-down and admit defeat. But, all of a sudden the title New Horizons came to me as a horse! ;)


Daydreamertoo said...

Wow, fabulous writing.
I had no idea it was a horse. LOL
Really enjoyed this, very much.

Ruth Madison said...

I really like the dichotomy of the private moments and the crowd at the race. It goes back and forth beautifully, where you can always feel the pull of the other.

Anna said...

A horse-story! I really like all kinds of animal-stories.

I agree with Ruth Madison. I like the private in this very public place.

I also like that fact that the reader is not certain as to what this is all about, and can speculate and guess until the end.

Best wishes,
Anna's RFW No.15-'New Horizons: Cissi tells Selma...'

Francine Howarth said...

Thank you Daydreamer, Ruth and Anna, for dropping in to comment. Glad you all liked it. ;)


Laura said...

Nice twist on the theme! I really enjoyed this piece - two great loves there playing out... the horse and the man... powerful stuff (phwar!)

Avadonja said...

Not being familiar with horse stuff, for most of this I thought this was about a threesome. Don't worry, I figured it out.
You conveyed the sexual tension really well for such a short piece.

Beverly Diehl said...

There's a special bond between horses and their trainers - not just their jockeys - which you capture very well. I guess Beth could let the owner share in a little of the overflow. Wonderful tension throughout this piece.

Francine Howarth said...

Hi Laura, Avadonja and Bev,

Thanks for stopping by to comment. Confusion, of course, intended, so that twist came as nice surprise! ;)


Kiru Taye said...

LOL. I love the play on the words New Horizon. A really nice snippet.

Anonymous said...

A lot of tension in the air - and not just the race itself! The heat between those two was palpable, and I think the whole piece was well-pictured. I, too, got confused at to exactly ~who~ they were referring to; another male interest?! Got to the end and it was all made clear. I enjoyed this very much, Francine.

Francine Howarth said...

Hi Kiru and Babyrocka,

Thanks for dropping in.

So pleased you enjoyed it. ;)


Hywela Lyn said...

Wat a great piece of writing, and what a wondeful tribute to Jenny Pitman.

A lifelong horselover, owner and rider, anything with a horse in it captures my attention. I don't know much about horse racing, but I do know about Jenny Pitman, and can appreciate the thrill of watching a horse you've trained come in first.

The sexual tension in this piece worked brilliantly with the excitement of the race and I actually thought when I first read it that it was an excerpt from something much longer. I could easily envisage this as a novel!

Ms. Queenly said...

Very nice, how you tied the energy between the two into the race, or vice versa rather. Great timing for a great ending. ~MsQ

Francine Howarth said...

Hi Lyn,

Yeah, me too, on novel perhaps coming out of this piece! ;)

Thanks for dropping in and becoming a follower.


Francine Howarth said...

Hi Miss Q,

So love mixed tensions pulling in different directions! ;)


Heidi Windmiller said...

Great piece!

I'm a fellow campaigner just stopping by to say hi! I'm in your historical group.

Liz said...

Great to meet you fellow campaigner!
Love this piece! :)

Dora Hiers said...

Hey Francine. I was thrilled to see your familiar face in the romance campaign category. Looking forward to it!

Francine Howarth said...

Hi Heidi and Liz,

Good to meet you both. ;)


Francine Howarth said...

Hi Dora,

Yeah, it was great to see your smiling face, too. I'm sure we'll all have some fun with this. ;)


Margo Berendsen said...

Oh, I love horses so this was neat treat, esp. your footnote about Jenny being the first female trainer to have a horse win the Grand National!

Also excited to meet a fellow campaigner!

Francine Howarth said...

Hi Margo,

Good to meet you. I'm looking forward to having some fun with every one.